apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
