break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I wish I only lived at night.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize