Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
