3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
