I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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