Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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