6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
