It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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