whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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