What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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