In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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