Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
