You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
