I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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