You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize