At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
