sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
