I wannas sexs uuuuu
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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