thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
