if you like me you must not know who I am
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
