I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
