Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
