Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We got so high we made milksteak
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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