I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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