I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just made out with a guy for $7.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
