he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
