i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize