so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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