their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
