I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize