you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
