I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
