my mouth tastes like poor choices
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
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