bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
