There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The uberlube is also flammable
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
