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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I understand Curling. That high.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
