Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
