That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
