Since when is my name a synonym for head?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
