U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
