if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
