at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
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