I want to stick my p in your. b.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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