East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
My cat gives me a boner
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
