i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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