Christians are straight up FREAKS
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
