I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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