I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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