I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
