walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
