The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
