you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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