Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We need to rekindle our bromance
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
