i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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