But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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