I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
