are you still at the devil's house?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize